In honor of the beginning of another school year and in hopes of enhancing communication with your children, I offer you the following “Teen-Speak to English” translations:
TEEN – “Death Metal rules!” ENGLISH – “I’ll listen to any music that you do not like in order to help establish my separation and drive to independence.” Alternate: “This music helps me process and release some of the anger I hold during these difficult developmental times.”
TEEN – “You hypocrite. How come I can’t smoke when I know you have tried it?” ENGLISH – “I am supposed to challenge rules; that is part of my normal teen development.” Alternate: “I really want to look older and look cooler.”
TEEN – “I hate you because you won’t let me buy those shoes.” ENGLISH – “I so wish I could feel that I fit in without needing stuff.”
TEEN – “I am so mad at you. It’s your entire fault.” ENGLISH – “There are things I am scared of don’t understand and don’t like about myself but I can’t tolerate those feelings so I’ll put them on you.”
TEEN – “I can’t go to bed so early. I am not tired at the bed-time you set.” ENGLISH – “This is actually true; look it up. As a teenager I am built to go to sleep later and wake up later. That is why I really need structure around bed-times.”
TEEN – “Leave me alone.” ENGLISH – “I totally want your help but I am too cool to ask.”
TEEN – “Joey gets to do it, why can’t I?” ENGLISH – “Please say no because I do realize this is a very bad idea.”
TEEN – “School is boring and I don’t care if I fail. Who uses Geometry any way?” ENGLISH – “I am struggling with some kind of problem in school but it is way too embarrassing or humiliating to admit that or ask for support.” Alternate: “I am really smart and need to be challenged more, but why would I ever ask for more work?”
TEEN – “I play video games all the time because they help me calm down and focus more.” ENGLISH – “My brain is still developing; an important area that is able to inhibit impulses to pursue more enjoyable activities does not fully develop until I am in my 20’s.” Alternate: “I am having trouble feeling calm and focused.”
TEEN – “What’s wrong with weed? It’s totally natural.” ENGLISH – “I have no idea what I’m talking about but most of us do experiment with drugs or alcohol at some point. It is scary and I would like advice but I can’t ask for it.” Alternate: “I don’t feel good and I want something to make me feel better.”
TEEN – “You are so stupid.” ENGLISH – “I know I need your guidance, but I also really want to learn to become independent. I know you know more than me. This is tough.”
TEEN – “You are such a dork.” ENGLISH – “I wish I had self esteem like you do.”
TEEN – “You are the devil.” ENGLISH – “I love you and I need you and I promise I will work this out. Don’t give up on me.”
TEEN – “You don’t know what you are talking about.” ENGLISH – “Young men think old men are fools but old men know young men are fools.” (This is a quote from Truman Capote.)
TEEN – “You don’t understand!” ENGLISH – “Sometimes, I just want you to listen to me and acknowledge my feelings.”
Good luck to all with the upcoming 2010-2011 school year.
I thought this was a great article, Steve.